I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

And, so is IT. Yep, the cancer. It's back. 

Sorry for the abruptness of this blog post. I figured ripping off the band aid is better than prolonging the agony. I've been going through some medical testing for a bit, and it's been recently confirmed. 

Some back story: I hadn't been feeling great for a while now, but with all of life's circumstances in the past year (for those that may not know, we had a house fire last January, losing everything (90% of our belongings, our entire house, our 2 vehicles, etc. etc.), but maybe that's a post for another day... I swear my life is better(?) than fiction.

I attributed most of my crummy feelings to stress. I put off going to the doctor for a while, until things settled a bit at home for my family. Once we were mostly done with rebuilding the house, I decided to finally see a doctor, just in case something else was going on. Two of the biggest concerning issues: I have lost some weight in the past year (about 30 lbs), and my "gut" was telling me something was "off" (yes, an actual GUT FEELING). I had a very similar feeling in my gut about a year prior to my first breast cancer diagnosis (an uneasy, uncomfortable, nauseous sort of feeling in the pit of my stomach that is almost constant) and at that time I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what was going on, and they could never narrow down the cause of my discomfort. It just so happened that not too long after I had pretty much given up hope on figuring out my gut issues, I was given the breast cancer diagnosis, and LIKE MAGIC the gut issues subsided. I know I sound bonkers when I say this, but that's truly how it went down. Perhaps my body has a way of signaling me that something is wrong. 

Gut: "Hey girl, something's up, maybe you should get it checked out?"

Me: "Awww, I'm fine, I'm sure it's nothing... I just have stomach issues, no biggie. I could stand to lose a few pounds anyways. Look how well these jeans are fitting!"

Gut: "MAYDAY!! MAYDAY!! GIRL, GET TO THE DOCTOR!"

Me: "Oh, It's fine, I'm sure it's just stress or some other explanation." 

Universe: (Dad gets diagnosed with metastatic cancer, Mother-in-law gets diagnosed with metastatic cancer...)

Gut: BITCH GET YOUR ASS TO THE DOCTOR PRONTO

Me: OK, OK...I'm going".

So, I had to find a new primary care doctor (and that's a process I kept putting off as well), and then I finally made an appointment. Shout out to the PA who actually listened to me, didn't think I was delusional and made a thorough plan to investigate multiple issues. I had labs drawn, Echo scheduled, wore a Holter monitor for a day, had an abdominal CT, chest CT... The chest CT found enlarged axillary lymph nodes (in a location very close to my original cancer, so obviously this was concerning). An ultrasound was scheduled, and the results were "suspicious" (no bueno). I was immediately scheduled for a biopsy of my lymph nodes. 

The results: metastatic mammary carcinoma. 

And here we are. I just had an appointment with my oncologist (yesterday) and so far, the plan involves getting further testing (a brain MRI, chest MRI, bone scan) to see if this is in fact a recurrence (same cancer as before that came back) or a new primary tumor. What I do know is that I will be having surgery (getting lymph nodes and surrounding tissue removed) and getting radiation. Not yet sure if chemo is happening again (have to wait on those test results <---).  

I'm not sure how often I'll be updating this blog, but I remember it being a good way to update folks (for those that are interested in what's going on with me), as a way to record what's going on for myself as well (I have gone back to re-read previous posts, because you forget things!) and it also can be therapeutic to write things down instead of keeping it all bottled up in my head. 

Thanks for being here. For those of you who are reading this...if you haven't been to the doctor in a while (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE), go make an appointment!