If ya can't say something nice...then don't say nothin' at all" ~Thumper

Welp...I just had my 3rd chemo session yesterday. 3 down, 5 more to go! I actually have one more AC to go, and then start a new round (4 doses) with Taxol (and Herceptin). I will continue to get Herceptin for a year (I will go in to get an IV every 3 weeks), so I won't technically be completely done with "chemo" for a year...BUT the toughest part will (presumably) be done June 7th (my last chemo appt, as long as everything stays on schedule)!!!

As many of you have noticed, I haven't updated the blog in a while. Sorry about that. Truth is, I didn't have anything nice to say. (Ya see what Thumper said up there ^ ??). I have since had 2 additional chemo treatments, and they have left me quite exhausted, and still nauseated. I was not as sick (no vomiting) since after the 1st treatment though. There were moments where I barely held it together. I have continued to work part time (my regular hours, 3 days a week). The first couple days back at work after chemo, are tough. I tire more easily, I am not able to go at my regular speed (which I would approximate at about 200 mph, but I get the job done, and I am grateful to be working). I am also grateful that I only work 3 days a week. Kuddos to the other fighters out there who have worked full time. Hats off to you!

Since we last talked, I attended the "Look Good Feel Better" workshop/class locally. http://lookgoodfeelbetter.org/  I took the day off of work so that I could attend. I still had my pixie haircut at that point, so I think the other gals in the class were confused. One finally asked me if I was in recovery, hadn't started treatment, or what? I clarified that I had 1 treatment at that time, and was waiting until I HAD to shave my head (which was to come about 1 week from that day actually). I was definitely the youngest gal in the group (I am getting used to that now). They have some donated wigs available (mostly geared to the geriatric crowd, although I took a "mom-bob" one home with me...hey - the price can't be beat! I took home a hat and a couple of scarves too.
They give you a makeup case filled with new makeup (which is nice because I am not supposed to use my regular pre-chemo makeup (any bacteria can manifest into something ugly with someone with a suppressed immune system). Have you heard that I work in a hospital and have 2 small children at home?!? LOL
Every time someone is near me and sneezes, I hold my breath (sometimes I wave furiously in front of myself as if that is some sort of defense against their cooties). I wonder how much time in the day I am holding my breath. I bet my lungs are getting really strong from it all.
You know that movie from back in the day "The boy in a plastic bubble"?  I've decided I need one of those. Wondering if John is done with his...


I took the big leap and had the hubby shave my head a couple weeks ago...into a Mohawk. It was falling out all over the place, and getting all around annoying. I was sad that the Mohawk didn't last very long. The girlies thought it looked cool. I had to shave my head completely bald a few days later. RIP Mohawk. Your badassedness lives on...

I had gone with my friend Joanie, wig shopping the day of my "Look good feel better" class. That was pretty much a disaster. I went to a local place (I won't name it, because I am hoping that she is deep down a really nice person who was having a bad day, maybe her dog died and she was in an all around miserable mood that day...yeah...that would make me feel better). Well, I did try on a few wigs, one I would have ordered (which would have been over $700 cash!), had the lady that owned the place been nicer to my friend and I while we were there. I was hoping that this was going to be a fun outing, where I could try on wigs, take pics (to post on this blog! :( She said "No pictures, these are one of a kind wigs!" (as if we were going to go and copy her design and make our own wig??), My friend touched a wig, and she barked "no man-handling the wigs" (and then talked about how the oils from our hands could soil the wigs). Blah blah blah. The point is there is a NICE way to say just about anything. This lady obviously was not versed in how to nicely say things. There are many other barking comments that I will omit. Bummer that the wig outing was, well a bummer. My friend and I went to a yummy crepes lunch afterwards, so it wasn't a total bust! :)
It's weird how having no hair now, changes SO MUCH. I LOOK like a patient now, that's for sure. there is no denying that I look like a sick person. Although I have yet to go out in all my bald glory. It is Michigan, after all - and it has been flippin' cold here. Hair is a great insulator, and not having it, is...Brrrrrrrr. I have been wearing a scarf on my head whenever I go out (usually a hat underneath too). Being bald has its benefits, and drawbacks. I get THE STARES. The stares range from "Oh, you poor thing honey" (I call that the "puppy dog face" looks), to those of confusion (and they want to ask SOOOO BAD...but they don't). Then there are those people who do the opposite of staring at me. They pretend I am not even there, they ignore me, or they think that if they look directly at me I might TURN THEM TO STONE!!!! LOL. I'm like Medusa.
I am really tempted to walk up to these people and say "HI, I'm here too!!!!", touch them somehow...see if they jump. Or whip off the scarf on my head and yell "BOO!"
Being bald is a real showstopper. Most people want to SEE IT, but they don't want to ask to see it. So, when they elude to it...I have just whipped off my scarf to let them see. LOL. You'd think I just dropped my towel fresh out of the shower. People go silent, sometimes they stutter...it. is. hilarious. I definitely do feel more naked. So I can see why maybe they would see it as a sort of intrusion? I dunno. This whole thing is weird. But, it's my life. And, at least I have a life, weird or not. So, for that I am thankful. I'm also thankful for the amount of $ I'll be saving on shampoo and hair products. It has also cut down on the amount of time to get ready in the morning - record timing now!