Thankful.

Today is exactly one year from when I had that gynecologist appointment (finally!), to check out a lump in my breast that I had been delaying getting checked out for quite some time. Denial sucks people!! - if you have a feeling something is wrong with you, if you have a lump, a sore that won't heal, a mole that has changed, or other symptoms that something isn't right with your body - TRUST YOUR GUT and don't wait to get it checked out!! *Steps slowly down from her soapbox  :)

It seems fitting that today is also Thanksgiving. This year has been full of ups and downs (OK, mostly downs - but who's counting!?!). Although I am not done with "treatment", as I still go for infusions until May of next year...it's not all in my past yet. I can reflect on this past year as probably the worst time of my life actually - but you know what, I'm not going to do that. I am going to take this time to be thankful. Because, I am.
First off, I am thankful to have yet another day in which I woke up on this side of the grass.
I AM ALIVE. This one's a biggie. As I started this journey a year ago, I wasn't sure if I'd be here right now (some of you probably wondered as well - it's OK to admit it). Well, crap. Now I am crying... It's OK though, because I am HERE, feeling those feelings. I am not sure if I am comfortable with the label "survivor" just yet.
I am thankful for my family, who has had to see me going through all of this awfulness this past year. They have been there to help me physically and emotionally in more specific ways than I can even mention. This is not a journey that any of us asked for, but they have stepped up to be pretty damned stellar. Adam, when you eventually read this, know that I appreciate all that you have done to pick up the slack when I was feeling at my worst. To know that I always have you in my corner, and that I can depend on you to help with the girls (even when I was trying to be "Super Cancer Mom") has made this past year easier on me. We make a pretty awesome team.
I am thankful to have some of the best friends out there. You have truly made all of this much more tolerable. From staying over night with me after surgery, emptying drains, setting up the care page, bringing meals, having a benefit!, offering to take the girls, offering support to me and my family - I can't thank you enough. To my "breast friends" too! (those gals that have been there, done that - and offered advice, lent an ear (or Facebook message ;), you gals have helped me more than you know. To my Facebook friends & family, I mention you specifically because you have been a huge support to me over the past year, posting things on my page, sending private messages. Facebook can get a bad wrap sometimes, but it also does so much good for folks as well. You have all been like a giant support group for me, and I thank you.
For the random people that I have encountered this past year when I was going through the worst of the chemo. Those people who offered me a smile when I needed one, who stopped me to tell me of their own or a loved one's survival story, who told me I was beautiful (liars all of you! LOL),  strangers who offered me encouragement or asked me how I was feeling, and those who have taken time out of their day to think of me, pray for me and my family - I thank you.
For those of you reading this blog right now, whether I know you or not - you have been a part of this journey too, and I thank you, because you care enough to want to know what's going on with me, regardless of the reason. For those that have shared my blog with others, thanks for that. Knowing that my blog might help someone else in this journey makes my heart smile.