Bye Bye Boobies...

So, my double mastectomy is scheduled for 2 days from right now. It is a bittersweet feeling. Knowing that I am actually DOING something to begin this fight, is a relief. I have been waiting for almost 2 months for this battle, and I am ready (I think). This cancer is a very unwelcome visitor in my "home", and it is time for it to GO. I am also very sad to have to say good bye to my breasts. This may sound like a totally vain and frivolous comment to make - but I WILL miss them. As much as the hubby tries to down-play the loss of (or importance of) my breasts, I know that he will miss them too. They have served me well these 37 years. Damn it, I had nice boobs!
(This would be a fantastic place to put one of those moving, slow motion, flash back sequences, set to music - of course...)
They have been a nuisance at times, an attention getter (sometimes whether I intended them to be or not), a confidence booster, a source of entertainment to friends and the hubby ;), a nice warm pillow for my children to lay their heads when they are sleepy or sick, a source of nourishment and facilitator to the bonding experience for my babies. I get teary thinking about how I will never again have the opportunity to breastfeed a baby again. Not that I intended to have another child (because, I think I am GOOD). But, to have that choice forever taken away now...it gets me really emotional.
I had seen other women having "going away" parties for their breasts just prior to having their mastectomy, and this sounded like something right up my alley. I told the hubby that I wanted to have a get together before the "big day". So, he and my besties got together and planned something for me. We had my "Bye-Bye Boobies" party a couple of days ago. It was a sweet, wonderful, zany and completely off-color way to say "bon voyage" to "the girls". The night was full of laughter, a really pretty (and yummy) boob cake, boob balloons, boob cake pops. My friend Joanie even made a boob-beanie that she wore on her head for most of the night (I may have worn it a time or too myself...but my memory may be a tad fuzzy from that night ;)). My friends Suzy and Joanie walked around selling 50/50 raffle tickets too (provided some of the finest entertainment around, at the same time).

They were nice boobies, amiright?

 <---Boob beanie

 

I got some beautiful flowers from our friends John & Shawn, a wonderful card (rosary and prayer card from Gwen), a robe from Katie, a bottle of wine from Meg, cards from a couple more friends (some with donations for my family included). A few strangers wandered down to the room, not realizing that is was a private party, seeing the boob balloons and signs saying "Bye-Bye Boobies!" and asked what the story was...I told them what the party was all about, and they instantly reached in their pockets and gave me $150! I had never even met them, and they were so generous. One of the women took me aside and talked to me briefly and asked me if I had read the book "The Secret". I told her that I had read that book, and thought the philosophy behind the book was wonderful. She stared me right in the eyes and said "You are going to be fine. I know this". I don't remember all that she said to me, but it brought tears to my eyes. Sometimes people come into your life and say (or do) things that take you by surprise, but somehow - you just FEEL like that moment MEANT SOMETHING. I have had a few moments like that lately. (I had a moment like that in the bathroom with my friend Lisa too, earlier that night). Whether it is some kind of divine intervention, a testament to how sappy, sensitive and empathetic I can be - I don't know. Sometimes things happen that you simply cannot explain. I won't even try to. Whether you are a "believer" or not...I have to say - I know that angels are out there. I believe that they can come in many forms, and it doesn't have to be the kind of angel "descended from heaven" like you see in the movies or something. Sometimes people come into your life, and profoundly affect you in a moment...a moment. Maybe they make you take a closer look at yourself, teach you a lesson, etc. I am thankful to have those moments and I am grateful for all of the angels in my life.
Don't you just love how I can start a post talking about boobs and end it talking about angels? I am very versatile like that.