Mastectomy and The aftermath

On the day of surgery, I, once again, had a magnificent entourage with me (my Dad, Adam, Adam's Mom and Dad and Sister, my friends Joanie and Suzy). My friends Jamie and Patty had come to the hospital after I had already gone into preop, and came to visit after I got out of recovery.
I checked in at the hospital, they gave us a little buzzer so that we would know when it was time for me to go back into preop. Then I went to the prosthetics department to pick up a post mastectomy camisole (something that I had to have a script for, and something they previously ordered for me while at my pre-op appt the week prior to my surgery), and would be using virtually every day after surgery (it has a velcro front closure, little pockets to hold the drains, and soft prosthetic breasts to stuff into little pockets if wanted). Anyone looking to buy someone who is going to have a mastectomy a present, one of these would be awesome (unless they get one from their doc), or some open front 2 piece pajamas, loose fitting yoga pants (pulling up your own pants is TOUGH after surgery, make sure they slide easily!), pocketed zip front shirts or sweatshirts (loose fitting is best, and you can use the pockets to put your drains in), also little pillows to place under your arms when resting (they sell little heart shaped ones, or those travel/neck pillows would work great). My sister and brother in law bought me a nice care package before I went in for surgery, it included some mints, a magazine, a camisole top and a wrap top, some fuzzy slipper socks. Great idea! I had my friend Joanie pick me up some crystalized ginger (as I tend to get nauseous from pain pills and anesthesia). Not sure if this is "gift" material, but having something to keep the gut moving along after surgery would be really helpful (probiotics, Senna, prune juice, magnesium citrate, colace - something along those lines - take my word for it!!)
*I'm adding this resource here, because I just LOVE the concept. Clothing designed specifically for women who have gone through a mastectomy http://www.chikaradesign.com/flash.html
Here's a post sugery drains jacket: http://www.makemeheal.com/mmh/product.do?id=124832
I lived in my "post mastectomy camisole" for days after my surgery, but thought to myself "I wish they had these is other colors/designs or there was a way to make them cuter". Maybe I'll finally learn how to sew and design something better someday!...
Back to my surgery day...In the family waiting area, there was also an electronic board that would show the progress of the patients who were having surgery (only showed the patient number, for privacy). The buzzer went off, so Adam and I went back to preop (after I said my goodbyes to the others - and they said their own special goodbyes to "the girls"). I was told to strip down, put on the "wrap dress". All of the regular folks stopped in: the nurse who got my H&P, vitals, walked me to the bathroom (I had to take a pregnancy test - negative!), another nurse who got my IV started (the vein in my hand blew, tried another, that was also a no go, so she started one in the inside of my arm), the anesthesiologist came out and asked a bunch of questions. I was sure to let them know that I get sick from anesthesia, so they gave me a little something extra to help with that (pill form as well as putting the regular stuff in my IV). The oncology surgeon came out and taked for a minute, then the plastic surgery team came out and spent more time with me. He had me sit up straight, took a fancy marker and drew on my chest, indicating where things were naturally positioned I suppose. The plastic surgeon was going to be the one in charge of my care once the oncology surgeon did the mastectomy part, so he would be the one to follow up with me in the hospital room to check on me, approve discharge the next day. Once they said I was ready to go...they had the hubby say goodbye (I gave him a hug, kiss and probably gave him one last looksie at the girls...I can't say for sure, as I am sure that they had given me some sort of hospital version of a roofie at this point). Off I went!! Something that I had heard later, was that Adam looked at the doc( I believe it was the plastic surgeon) just as he said goodbye and said, "Good luck!", the doc responded with "I don't need luck, I've got this, do it all the time" (or something to that effect). I thought that was great. What a nice way to reassure the family.
The little buzzer buzzed after the oncologist was finished with the procedure (and indicated that the doc would come to speak with the family soon), then it buzzed again when the plastic surgeon was done with his procedure and he was to come a speak with the family, then it was to buzz again when I was ready to be seen in recovery. My friends were too impatient to wait for the time "allotted" to come back and see me, so a couple of them decided to "go on a mission" and scour the unit looking for me. (Yes, they really did).
As I was lying in bed, feeling drowsy and nauseous from anesthesia, I could hear whispering that sounded a lot like my friend Suz and my hubby. I called out to them, and sure enough it was the two of them (who now considered themselves successful on their "mission"). My nurse was none too happy about the intruders on the unit at first, but (as they usually do), they appeared to woo her over, and she let them stay. They let a couple other members of my entourage back at a time for a little bit to visit, taking shifts 2 at a time (for the most part). I cannot be responsible for anything I may have done or said while they were visiting. I have a very foggy recollection of my visitation time. I remember being fed ice chips, and wanting a whole lot more than that to eat (did I mention that it was probably 9pm at this time, and I hadn't eaten since dinner the previous day??). I'd have to say that I was pretty gracious considering how hungry I was (let alone that I just had surgery). They did, eventually bring me a meal - and I scarfed that sucker down (using my left hand, as my right had was impeded by IV wires and would set off an alarm if I tried to bend it to feed myself). I had to have my friend Joanie cut up my food for me. Accepting, and asking for assistance was not going to be easy for me - but I know this is something I cannot control. I am lucky enough to have loads of people offering to help with things right now, and I should accept that assistance, without tying to do more than I am able to, or allowed to do. This was certainly going to be a challenge.
I ended up staying the night in the operating observation area overnight. I don't think I slept for more than 10 minutes at a time - awful. Now, for many people, when they heard that I was only allowed to stay over night after having a double mastectomy - they were OUTRAGED (I have to admit, it really does seem outrageous that they are cutting off parts of my body and then rushing me out the door - BUT, a nurse said to me (and I agree), that I would not be getting the kind of rest that I needed in the hospital (with the other patients there, being constantly checked on, other patient noises, etc. PLUS, I would be at much more risk of infection the longer I stayed in the hospital. She said that as long as I had someone there to help me around the clock for a few days, I would be much more comfortable at home. I agree. Unless I had complications - there IS no place like home. Not even mentioning the discomfort of having the IV in my arm, with compression cuffs on both of my lower legs squeezing and releasing constantly, hearing the comings and goings of patients and staff to the bathroom, having my vitals checked over and over...
The next morning, the plastic surgeon came to check in on me, said I was doing really well. He kind of gave me the option of staying another night if I needed it (based on my level of pain, etc.) He also let me know that once he started the surgery, he was a little concerned about the viability of my skin in a couple of areas (possible poor vascularization, and that my skin was "thin"?), he said he made the call, and decided to go through with placing the expanders. He said I appeared to be doing well, so I am hoping things continue to go in that direction.
When the plastic surgery team came in, I believe it was the first time I saw myself "after" the surgery. Under the traditional "wrap dress" I was wearing a surgical binder since the surgery, it kind of looked like a cute little tube top (looks like the top of a summer dress...it was baby blue and had little ruffles - although not at all flattering, LOL, it did offer some support and held everything pretty tightly in place). Once the doctor opened the binder, I looked down and saw the resemblance of little breasts (kinda cute wee little things :), but my perspective was only from the top down. I believe it was the next day, once I got home, I took the binder off to get cleaned up and changed into other clothes, when I really saw my whole upper body. I'm not gonna lie. It was shocking for me to see. The sides of my breasts were definitely malformed (the left side looked to me like there was an indented hole where breast used to be - and it made me sad). I have drains that come out from under both of my arms and end in things that look like little grenades. These little grenades fill with bloody lymphatic fluid throughout the day and need to be emptied (sorry for those who just cringed reading that). Their hoses need to be "milked" (squeezed and pulled to clear any blood clots) from the tubing a few times a day. So far, my hubby and my friend Suzy have had this glorious job. So lucky to have a hubby who does not have a weak stomach, and a friend who is a nurse by my side! We have to keep a log of all of the fluid emptied from the "grenades", and once the fluid equals 30cc's or less for 2 days in a row, I will be ready to have the drains removed - and oh that will be a happy day indeed. These things are the bane of my existence. (OK, I am exaggerating a tad - but they ARE a pain in the ass). I am in a great deal of pain as well. The second night that I was home was the WORST, pain wise. I believe I only took 1 pain pill (generic Percoset) before I went to bed - bad idea. I woke up around 4am (needing to use the bathroom), I tried and tried (and tried) to get myself to the edge of the bed - and just. couldn't. do. it. I felt like a turtle on it's shell, unable to right itself. I was stuck on my back, and in so much pain, I couldn't move. (it probably would have been funny to witness, actually). I could have yelled out to my friend Suzy (who was sleeping on the couch just outside my room) but I didn't want to have to wake her if I didn't need it, and I didn't want to wake up the rest of the house. It took me a good 10-15 minutes of struggling, and pain - but I did eventually get myself to the edge of the bed (almost in tears). You see, I am not able to put any weight on either of my arms (because of the surgical precautions, and because the pain was excruciating). I am also not able to extend my arms any higher then my shoulders (while I have the drains in), or use my arms to pull up on anything. So, in order to get to a standing position, I have to use all of my accessory muscles (muscles I didn't even know I had!), but mostly abdominal, back, leg and neck muscles in order to hurl myself up. It's rough. I have 2 arms, that aren't very useful at the moment. I am thinking a good word of advice to anyone getting ready to have a double mastectomy - practice your stomach crunches, and squats. My "accessory" muscles are on fire (like it feels when you haven't exercised in a while, and then you go "all out"... a few days later, you can barely move - yup, that about sums it up (ya know, along with the pain from surgery). The bright side...I am getting extra exercise to my abdominal muscles (and I'm sure I could have used that anyways)! I may have lost my boobs, but maybe I'll gain a six-pack! Ha. <---silver lining?